I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
