You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
