she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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