How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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