went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
