So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You need Xanax blowdarts
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
