yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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