oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
