Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
