did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
its liver damage thursday
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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