i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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