yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
