I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
