somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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