so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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