My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
