I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
