I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
