It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
