a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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