Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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