the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
