you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
