I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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