my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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