Me. At least after what I've been through.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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