Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
