When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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