I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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