I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
