omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Actions speak louder than pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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