the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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