I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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