dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
