I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.