I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.