WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus