It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo