He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
two words...techno handjob
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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