But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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