On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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