Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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