Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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