The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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