I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
