If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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