operation harelip BJ is a go
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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