i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
