Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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