Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
