Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
