Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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