It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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