Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
