Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
