In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
