we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
