Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
