I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
