I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
