Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I need a beard to bite.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
