don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
