1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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