Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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