i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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