I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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